Just my random thoughts......

It has been a few days since I have posted on here. So I figured I would post some of my thoughts over the last few days. So here goes .........................



Thoughts #1, the cost of living here in Florida..... With the cost of living, property taxes, homeowners insurances etc, is it really worth staying here in Florida and struggling to live and have money left over at the end of the payday? Or would we be better off, listing the house for sale and moving further north somewhere where the cost of living is better. Find a good job somewhere and start a life that would be easier and more enjoyable? Could it be easier and more enjoyable?



Thoughts #2, My job.... I am currently working with Fire Rescue as a 911 operator. I enjoy my job, its the hours I don't really care for anymore. I work 2 days on and 2 days off thats all good, but every four months I rotate from days to nights for 12 hour shifts. Thats what sucks about the job. I hate the night shift. Plus having to work holidays sucks when you have a family. So here is were my dilemma is... On Sept 6th I applied for a job with Code Enforcement as a Licensing Tech. It would be a Monday through Friday job regular hours. My application is still in review with Human Resources and has yet to be forwarded to the Hiring department. I have also been debating as to whether or not I should try and transfer back to the sheriff's office doing what I am doing now. My communications center is planning a consolidation which would be run by the sheriff's office, therefore making me an employee anyways. Thats not going to be for at least another year. Thats where I am trying to decide to wait or just go ahead and transfer now if I can and get it done with. But I really want the Code Enforcement job and if I transfer to the Sheriff's office and then get offered the job, it would be morally wrong for me to take the new job. So this is my confusing mess as far as my job decisions.

Well , so much for my thoughts right now, my co-worker has put in the movie "Knocked Up"
and its hilarious. So I am going to end my blog for tonight and finish watching the movie...



LATER !!!!!!!!!

Friday Night Cards and Booze

Well, lets just say that we decided to play cards last night and had some drinks to go with it. There were 6 of us playing, so we ended up ordering Sonny's BBQ for take out. We ate dinner played some Hillbilly Horseshoes and then started playing cards. We had some shots, some mixed drinks and all in all had a good time. It was my wife and I , My in laws Tasha and Richard and some friends of ours Tim and Felicia. with Felicia being the only sober one there since she is with child.. Here we have Tim Taking a shot of Brandy well into the night.. It was alot of fun, we laughed, talked and best of all we all felt good.. This went on until around 0200 hrs this morning.
At this point in the Game Chris was feeling fine and sporting the shades, the alcohol tends to intensify the lighting.. LOL She called it a night and went to bed....
And here, well here we have Tasha Who also was affected by the lighting, but hey, she was definately having a GREAT time.. as you can tell by the laughing episodes we got to experience that night. Tasha was well past her limits..

I ended up going to bed around 0300 this morning once everyone left and I cleaned up the mess we made. And I slept until 1600hrs today. I am now sitting here at work and let me tell you.. I am soooo happy to be here.. NOT

anyways thats all for now, will try and do my actual blogging a little later tonight, just wanted to add some pics of my Card Night. I have a video too that I need to try and figure out how to get on here as well..

0503HRS and Wide Awake

Well, here it is , 0503 hrs and I am wide awake and not at work. I wanted to go to bed early tonight, but instead I sat up talking with some friends until 2 something. Went and layed in bed and tossed and turned. So I came back downstairs , logged on and added some pictures to my blog. Trying to figure out how to transfer some of my old blogs from my myspace to this one. Everyone in the house is SOUND asleep even the cats and dog. So as I sit here and think about the progress reports that came home today, I am pleasantly pleased with the results. Considering its a new school, first marking period. John and Jayme are doing good, John just needs to learn how to sit still and not move around as much. They are both working hard, I want to believe and by the time report cards come out, they will be on track and ready to go. Jordan had mostly all A's and 1 C there is another grade I will not mention, which she claims she will have brought up by report card. I have 100% faith that she will get the grade up so she will continue to be on the A/B Honor Roll again this year. All in All I think they are doing very well considering they all started a new school and are having to make new friends, learn their way around and ride the bus to and from.
My wife has started her new hours this week , she is now working from 0630-1530hrs mon-fri. She is really happy about that because she gets to spend more time with the kids and gets to be more of a mom again.
I want to at this moment tell everyone how very proud of my wife I am, because she has been working hard over the last month, trying to get herself eating better, loose a few pounds and over all get in better shape. She has lost a total of 19 LBS and I am extremely PROUD OF HER !!!!!! I almost envy her as she is more determined and motivated than I am. She makes the time to exercise and eat better. Me, I am too exhausted and just can't get the motivation going. I had some motivation when My friend Gabe was talking to me about running a marathon in January. I started eating better, started riding a bike, look for his encouraging words from time to time. But Gabe has become a little too busy with his own training and busy life that we don't talk as much as we used to. I want to Congratulate Gabe for completing the OUC Triathalon this past weekend. I only wish I had 1/2 of his energy and determination. In away I envy his will and was looking up to him as my mentor. But as I said, we don't talk much lately, alot to do with my working nights now to.

Its amazing how once I start typing on here, my thoughts go from one to another. As I type one thing, my mind has moved on to another issue/topic. Its almost like I am ADHD in my thoughts. Because I now sit here wishing I had done this or done that as far as continuing my education. I wish I was able to let my wife take a couple years of work off so she could go to nursing school and become the Best Nurse I think she is capable of being. Then while thinking about wishing we were able to go to school etc, I fear when my kids start college. How am I going to get 3 Kids into college and still afford to live? I mean I want more than anything in the world for my kids to Graduate College, and become successful in whatever they choose, just as any parent would. But I still have atleast 5 1/2 years before the first one will be college bound. Then there is my oldest. She is 19 and hasn't found herself yet. Has no path of life she wants to follow. I worry about her and her actions, but as a parent of a 19 year old, its hard to get them to listen to you and understand what you are saying is actually truthful, knowledgable and worth listening too. I want her to have a steady job/career so that one day she can have that house and car she wants. But no matter how much I try or my wife tries or anyone for that matter tries to tell her, She has to WANT it for it to actually happen. I love Ivey (my oldest) even though its hard for me to show her because of our relationship over that last few years. I want nothing but the best for her and I hope and Pray that one day she will wake up and realize "Crap, my parents have been right"

Anyways, I guess I should just end this with I hope my wife, best friend and love of my life, grows old with me, so we can enjoy (and I am afraid to say this but I will) our grandchildren and maybe even a Great Grandchild or two. I want to grow old with my wife and travel the states when we retire and not have a worry in the world about my children because we are doing the best we can to lead them down the right paths, make the right decisions and become who or what they want to be.

It is now 0533hrs and I am going to call it a night and try to lay down, even though I have to get up at 0700 to get the kids on the bus for school.

God Bless......

Little Black Rain Cloud....

Ever have a day when no matter how you look at things or how you try to make it a good day, that stupid little black cloud follows you? Well thats been my last few days. The only good thing is I am off for the next 3 days. I do not have to worry about work unless I get called in on Friday. Other than that I had planned on going to my mom's and visit with her for a little while tomorrow and then on Friday I have to go for a dopler ultrasound on my femoral arteries to check the circulation in my legs.. Fun Fun Fun...

My Father's Birthday is tomorrow the 19th and I am so extremely happy that he is here to celebrate it. He is the longest living male on my fathers side of the family. (as I am knocking on wood). He has had several heart attacks and we stressed over each and everyone.

I have however decided I want to do something for others. I am going to look into getting involved with something like "Give Kids The World" or "Make a Wish Foundation" . I was involved with Make a Wish around 1994 and I was able to help a child with autism out by getting a home computer donated with software to help children with autism develop. It was a great feeling for me. I still have a picture of the child and her family sitting with the computer that the family mailed to me. I am thinking that maybe if I get involved with something, It will help my stay busy and not get so stressed/depressed about things in my life. After all , there are so many people out there that have it ALOT worse than I do. My sister has Multiple Sclerosis since 1998 and I have even thought about doing something to help raise awareness of M.S. There are so many other organizations out there I could choose from but I think these would be my top choices.

I am still trying to find away to get better layouts for my blog. I have finally figured out how to add the blogs of friends that I follow. I will eventually have this whole blog thing to the level I want it.. or atleast I hope..

Well I guess thats all for today, its now 0023 hrs and I have 5 1/2 hours of my shift left, I can not wait for it to be over because it has been very slow night...

God Bless Everyone I know and love, even those I don't.....

Working overtime

Well, I am working my third night in a row... I have Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday off this week though. So I guess I can't compain. I am still trying to figure this blogspot out, can I add blogs to mine that I want to follow regularly, how can I search for certain types of blogs etc.

As for myself, today and the last few days, I have been in a low.. Its not fun feeling like this, its actually depressing. There are times I feel alone and have no one to talk to, no one to confide in, yet I have a house full of family that I can talk to, but I just don't want to. Hence the reason I started this blog site. So I can randomly post my thoughts, my feelings etc. Lately I have had so much doubt in my life. I am questioning things I should never question and that would be my "faith", My life , My purpose in life. I feel as though I am working my life away with nothing to show for it. No extra money to go and enjoy the simple things in life. I am trying to figure out whether or not I really like or hate my job. I mean the money is good, but the hours, quite frankly they suck. For the next four months I am working from 6pm to 6am, which in turn gives me no life. I sleep when my wife and kids are home awake. I am awake when they are all sleeping. That right there makes me feel like I am all alone. I love my wife, my kids and my family. I am just so down right not I couldn't prove it to anyone that I do love anyone.
I have also gained pounds since I started working the night shift. I am feeling fat, unattractive and old.

Well I guess I have boo hoo'd enough on here for now. I don't know who can read this or who would want to read this, but if there is anyone out there that has taken the time, let me say "Thank You" for taking a moment out of your busy day to let me vent..

I may blog some more later tonight..... Later...

My first blog !!!!

Well, I have given in to the world of blogging.. I figured this is the best thing to do to get something off my chest. To help me get though some lows and highs in my life. I am not really sure how the whole blogging thing works, but I am going to try my best and get this really going...