Sewer Nightmare ! Oh and dinner nightmare too...

Well, let me just start out by saying I am EXHAUSTED !!!!!!

I got home at 6:15 pm last night from work and had planned on just getting some dinner and relaxing since Today would be my 3rd 12 hour shift in a row. I washed my hands in my master bathroom which is upstairs and the towels were missing from the towel rack. I questioned my wife as to who stole the towels and she said she did because the downstairs toilet overflowed and she needed towels. I went and got another towel out of the closet and went on with my night..

Why is this titled SEWER NIGHTMARE you are asking... Well let me tell you why...

As I was downstairs making spaghetti noodles to go with the left over meatballs/sauce from the meatball subs the night before the sewer nightmare began.. Before the water even started boiling the downstairs bathroom which is only a half bath (toilet and sink) I hear water pouring out onto the ceramic tiles from the bathroom. I quickly ran to see what it was and My toilet bowl is overflowing and flooding the bathroom and laundry room. I Grab a hand full of sheets from the laundry room and throw them on the floor at the door to the laundry room to keep the water from making its way to the kitchen.

But before I get any further on that let me quickly tell you about the Pasta that I had to throw away. I got the water boiling and slid all the noodles out of the box, broke them in half and added them to the wonderful boiling water. Lifted the lid on the sauce/meatballs to stir, replaced lid and moved my eyes to the boiling pot of BUGS and NOODLES !!!!! YES you read right Bugs !!!! There were there black bugs floating on the top of my water.. I was a victim of pasta bugs. I end up throwing that batch of pasta away and grabbed a box of bow tie pasta from the pantry. Started a new pot of boiling water and returned to the flood.

I grabbed my wet vac from the garage which mind you is only about a gallon big and start sucking up water. This gets old quick as I am standing in a good couple of inches of water. I have a mud room where the garage comes in between the kitchen and laundry room that has a door leading to my back patio. I grabbed the garden house dragging it into the house through the laundry room and stuck it in the toilet bowl. I ran back outside and turned on the water, unhooked the house from the faucet to get a siphon started and began draining the water from the toilet bowl as fast as I could. I ran back to the garage and got my handy dandy carpet cleaner and used it to start sucking up all the water. Let me just say the water coming up from my toilet still hasn't stopped. At this point, I turned off the water to the tank, disconnected the water line, unscrewed the floor bolts and ripped the damn toilet off the floor sticking it in the corner of the bathroom. ***WATER STILL COMING FROM THE HOLE IN THE FLOOR***

Now in case you have forgotten , there is a pot of water boiling on the stove for the freaking bow tie pasta and all I wanted to do was just relax tonight. My mother in law comes and asked if I wanted her to add the pasta, I said yes but just make sure there are no bugs and told her about the last batch.. A couple minutes later she comes into the laundry room as I am up to my family jewels in water ( not really but it gives you a good idea how much water is coming out) and says "Now you have me scared, as she is shaking the box trying to see bugs in the pasta. I told her just add it to the water and if there are bugs she will see them floating.. She adds pasta and NO BUGS !!!!! I go back to the water adventure.

So now I have taken the hose and started feeding it down the hole in the floor and figured I would just get the siphon going and hopefully get the back flow stopped. Oh forgot to tell you that by this time I had already called my power/water/sewer company and got this guy who was a complete ass. He was like I have no clue what your talking about and what you want me to do. I said "I want you to tell me why I have water coming outta my floor when I have City Sewer?"

He told me he would get a tech out. So I have a nice siphon going on and am able to get a good amount of the water cleaned up. I walk through the kitchen and there is the pasta just boiling away with no one watching it. I go upstairs where my wife and 2 older daughters are just sitting on the bed watching TV. Now I am still in my work clothes and my pants are wet up to my knees. I exclaimed "CAN SOMEONE COME TAKE CARE OF DINNER?" to which my 13 year old comes down to finish and serve dinner to the kids.

If your still here and reading, let me say the nightmare is not over yet. I go to the back corner of my garage (which is up against the bathroom) and my entire back half of garage is flooded. Water is running through my garage and out from underneath the overhead garage door and the back door. I Am just ready to Scream at this point.

After I finally get all the water finally cleaned up and to a point where there is no more water coming outta the hole in my floor. I decide to re-attach the toilet and turn on the water. I should have just stopped right there, but NOOOOO I have to flush the freaking toilet to make sure it works and the Flooding starts all over.... I shut off the water again, get the hose back in the toilet and again get the siphon going. Again get all the water cleaned up and decide I am going upstairs to shower since I have spent well over an hours playing in toilet water and just want to be clean and run to Quizno's for a sub. As I get ready to jump in the shower, I look out the window and the sewer company has arrived. I spend about 30 minutes walking around outside with them as they are trying to find my drain outs at the house and their drain outs at the road. I finally go inside, change into shorts and the wife and I run to Quizno's while they poke around my 1/2 acre lot. Wife and I are gone about 30 minutes , come home and she takes our dinner inside as I head outside to meet with the group of sewer people that are now in my yard. They are unable to find where my sewer lines go to the main sewers and tell me they need to have the locate company come out on Monday to locate and mark my lines. They also tell me that if there are no drain outs on their side, they will have to dig up my yard and install them at their cost.

They leave, I go upstairs take a shower scrub like I was contaminated and throw my PJ's on. I go downstairs threw my sub in the microwave, went and checked on the freaking toilet and STILL EMPTY !!!!!!!! I take my food to my room, ate and went to bed. Woke up at 5am this morning, showered again cause I can not proceed or function without my morning shower. I get dressed for work and head downstairs scared to death of finding my whole downstairs flooded. No water found and toilet still empty !!!!!! So lets just hope it holds out for 2 more weeks and I can move out of Florida and not have to worry about the over flowing toilet again !!!!

Sorry I have made this such a LONG post , but that's what it took to tell you about my night. OH and by the way, it was around 11pm when I finally crawled into bed to just RELAX after work.

Have a safe and enjoyable Sunday !!!!